How I See It - A personal view by Denzil McDaniel: The kids are all right, but what are we really protecting them from?

My heinous crime?

Well, I was playing football with my mates in the street. Bad, huh? The fact we had nowhere else to play was lost on the officers in the police car, and they realised even less about the impact they were having on the occasion.

This match was serious stuff; I was Jimmy Greaves (you were always somebody else and I fancied myself as being deadly in hitting the goal, actually a garage door, from two yards). To say we were competitive was an understatement; we kicked lumps off each other and quite often major arguments would break out.

Very different days. The few play areas there were consisted of rusty swings and if you fell off you landed on tarmac. And metal slides that were either soaking wet in the rain or roasting hot in the sun. And if your mate pushed you down too quickly, being burnt was the least of your worries. None of your mamby-bamby soft rubbery stuff to fall on.

Mind you, that was a time when we all went to Sunday School, were taught at home to “have a bit of manners” and had to make our own entertainment. Crikey, I even walked from my home in Cornagrade to the Model Primary School. On my own.

I know, with that sort of upbringing it’s a wonder I survived at all.

By now, you’re expecting a rant about “kids today”. Sorry, it’s not going to be that.

The kids are all right.

Today, of course, is a different era. Better? Worse? Just different.

Youngsters have many more facilities and much more to do. But they still love innocent fun. I enjoyed looking at the photographs of well over a hundred under eight footballers from several clubs playing in a blitz at Ballinamallard. A lovely 3G surface, smart playing kits and quality footballs.

But in common with us, you could see the joy on their faces. Many soccer clubs, and indeed clubs from many sports and community organisations provide fantastic opportunities for children.

I just hope that none of our kids turn out to be like Memphis Depay.

Who? Well, if you’re not a football fan you’ll not know that he’s Dutch and plays (sometimes) for Manchester United, who paid millions of pounds for his services. He’s 22. Recently, he made a mistake in a match, was dropped and told to play for the club’s under 21s.

Did this humble him? Well, Memphis decided (against advice by the club) to show off by turning up for the match with the younger players in his £250,000 Rolls Royce, more money than most of us can afford for a house. He’s not alone in showing how modern young multi-millionaire footballers have lost touch. Some of the behaviour of these so-called “role models” defy belief.

It’s hard to imagine that young Memphis was once an under-eight player running about after a ball for the sheer fun of it.

You could, I suppose, make excuses for Memphis. He’s only 22, and it’s hardly his fault that some executive wants to pay him more money in a week than we all earn in years.

It’s the rest of us that should know better. Children, of course, are a blessing and it’s a natural instinct that we want the best for them. It’s just that we’re misguided. We’re protecting them from the wrong things.

Safe play areas are just one example of the health and safety zealots, but the problem runs deep in our risk-averse society of today. We even want to protect them from disappointment, so we reduce the element of competition; again, understandable. But newsflash, get used to disappointment, it’s part and parcel of life, and supporting the kids to overcome it would be better than thinking that we can remove it completely.

We also think that we can give them material things to keep them happy. And even use sharp elbows to push kids to the front.

I must admit to having had a chastening couple of weeks. Firstly, unrelated to this article, I opened up recently about how I tried as a journalist to have empathy with people and take responsible decisions. I’ve since had letters from people who were hurt by the results of my decisions. And it didn’t make easy reading.

I’ve also had tough decisions to make in football selection, which I knew wouldn’t go down well. But even I have been surprised at some of the vitriol, even lies, that have been spewed about me.

Not much I can do about that; but it did make me wonder about the many volunteers who work with young people, giving many hours of their free time for little or no thanks; indeed, they’re unpaid babysitters in some cases, and in return get criticised unfairly.

So, while we protect children from the inevitability of some aspects of life, give them “stuff” to keep them happy and abuse those who try to channel their energies into worthwhile activity, we actually fail to protect them from the real dangers.

The internet, for example. I’ve read reports of four or five-year-olds with smartphones and tablets, who are allowed to use them unsupervised. How many of our teens access all sorts of filth on there; and I’m at times actually shocked when I see some of the language and bile that young people post on social media.

Recently, I observed a local young footballer display the worst attitude and behaviour that I’ve ever seen from a teenager on a pitch. His language wasn’t just disgustingly obscene, there was an element of racism as well. He can’t escape responsibility for his appalling behaviour, but what, I wondered, did his parents think of it?

And do we protect them from real pressure; how many young people feel peer pressure, or perhaps worry about their image because of what they see in magazines? How many feel real pressure at exam time because of the demands in today’s intensified society?

And we wonder why in happy Fermanagh, there are real mental health problems among young people.

Despite all the negativity, I’ve said many times that I find the vast majority of our young people bright, articulate, well-behaved and they do welcome boundaries.

No, the kids are all right. It’s the parents and elders that need to get a grip or we’ll reap a whirlwind.