TOP Irish comedian Neil Delamere has announced details of his brand new tour, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Pensioner, which features two dates in Fermanagh next year.
One day Neil’s dad asked him to help deliver the Meals on Wheels. He agreed.
Little did they know that their lives would never be the same again.
Except for the bits of their lives that didn’t change. 
The funnyman’s stand-up show will reveal more details about that memorable day with his father along with much more when he plays The Ardowen Theatre on February 3 and March 16, 2018. 
Here he speaks to Rodney Edwards about returning to Fermanagh, Arlene Foster ‘spinning’ with Leo Varadkar and what he would do to Donald Trump’s vocal box.
For more information on his one man show and to book a ticket, visit www.ardhowen.com or neildelamere.com.

Q: Your new show is called Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Pensioner, why?
A: I was looking for a title that described a well-known partnership as the show is about me and my da doing the Meals on Wheels one day and all the various scrapes we got into as we went about our merry way.
He seems likes a Sundance Pensioner to me.

Q: Have you anything in common with the notorious train robber?
A: Raindrops do keep falling on my head and I know Tim McGarry and he too is in the Hole in the Wall gang so there’s that.

Q: Have you ever stolen anything in your life?
A: Only the heart of a woman. When you need a cardiac transplant, needs must.
 
Q: What would you steal if you could get away with it?

A: An Aston Martin DB 5. James Bond’s car from the 60s films. Oh yeah.
Easy enough to hot-wire you’d imagine, if a tad conspicuous.

Q: What do you want from Santa this year?
A: I read something recently that stated people are happier when they receive experiences rather than physical gifts.
With that in mind I’d love a day learning something new.
Nothing cultural or educational mind you. Something mindless, adrenalin fuelled and preferably very childish.
Rally driving, hot-wiring a tram or driving a tank over things would be on the list.

Q: What is your favourite Christmas song?
A: Last Christmas by Wham. See the cardiac transplant answer above.

Q: What do you not want in your stocking this Christmas?
A: Socks.

Q: What is a typical Christmas like in the Delamere household?
A: It involves the full Christmas dinner complete with all the trimmings.
Then some family members have a row over a boardgame while the rest watched Ben Hur for about seven hours.
Throw in a light dusting of snow outside, a turf fire and copious amounts of Quality Street and you’re well on the way to a decent Christmas day.

2017 has seen the world get a little bit topsy-turvy so...

Q: How would you improve Brexit talks?
A: All diplomats, politicians and bureaucrats have to negotiate in good faith and if they are caught in a lie they must take off an item of clothing. Strip negotiations as it were.
It would keep people honest and you may well get an idea what concessions really excite the members of the teams.

Q: How would you encourage Donald Trump to be a little more diplomatic?
A: I’d temporarily paralyse his voicebox and get Nina Conti to operate him.
She’s wonderfully talented as a ventriloquist and surely would put more sensible things in his mouth that he could conjure up himself.

Q: How would you put Stormont back together again?
A: I’d stop paying them and see if that softened their cough and sped up talks. Surely, there is some sort of compromise that can be worked out. I don’t know what it is but it seems the vast majority of people want devolution restored so the politicians should respect the will of the people.

Q: How would you improve relations between Arlene Foster and Leo Varadkar?
A: She seems to like singing and he enjoys going to the gym so I suggest they spend some time together away from politics, just getting to know each other so mutual trust and respect can flourish. I suggest a spin class where he’s on the bike and she’s banging out dance classics to keep his heart rate high.

Q: What can we expect from your new show?
A: Laughs, philosophy and the curing of a leper.

Q: Why do you enjoy performing in Fermanagh?
A: Apart from being the most scenically situated venue, the Ardhowen is great fun to play. We recorded the first Blame Game of this series there and, as usual, the Fermanagh and surrounds crowds showed us once again how into their comedy they are. They always get involved in the messing around and become part of the show. As long as they keep showing up, so will I!