Family’s agony over little boy’s grave

Rodney Edwards • Published 1 Oct 2010 09:00 Comments 1 Comment

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Marc Elliott’s grave at Cross Cemetery outside Enniskillen.

THE parents of six-year-old Marc Elliott who died last month have been left reeling after being told how they should maintain their son’s grave by Fermanagh District Council.

Damien and Adel Elliott who are mourning the loss of brave Marc to the deadly disease Adrenoleukodystrophy were warned by the Council to abide by the rules and regulations of Cross Cemetery in Enniskillen -- on the SAME DAY as their son’s funeral.

The young boy’s grieving mother Adel has told The Impartial Reporter how she “sat crying” at the warning.

“When I landed home from Marc’s funeral there was a leaflet in the house. I don’t know where it came from or who left it, but it was all the rules and regulations from the graveyard. It was saying things like you can’t put stones on or they will be removed and you will be charged. You’re not allowed any surrounds. You’re not allowed to put anything on top of the grave. Any floral tributes from the funeral that aren’t lifted within 90 days will be lifted and binned, I couldn’t believe it,” she said.

Although she was shocked at first, Mrs. Elliott admits she didn’t think it was anything to worry about: “I’ve been out there and seen other graves that aren’t like that; graves that don’t go by those rules and regulations. I thought, they can’t be that serious, surely?”

But then last week the loving parents were to find out just how serious Fermanagh District Council are about their rules at Cross Cemetery.

“We thought we’d get Marc’s grave done up all nicely for the Blessing of the Graves last Sunday but before we did anything we decided to ask permission, just to be sure. So Damien phoned the Council to ask and he was told he couldn’t do anything to the grave and if he did put anything down, it would be removed. He asked about the other graves and why they weren’t following the rules. They told him the rules were only put up after 2008 so the families of anybody in before then can do what they want,” she explained.

Mrs. Elliott says she is “so upset” and “angry” at the rules: “It’s really annoyed me. You can’t say it’s a lawn graveyard and let the first four rows do whatever they like. I’ve nothing against those families because I know how they feel. Yes, they should be allowed to do it but so should we. At the end of the day I have to pay for that plot. Why should I pay for something I’m not allowed to touch? I am so upset about this.

“Marc is six-years-old. He’s not an old man that loved gardening or anything. It’s not like you can stick a plant down and that will do the job. Putting wee stones down and his favourite colours would be more personal. That would be far easier to look after. They wouldn’t have to mow the lawn. I also think it’s very disrespectful driving lawn mowers over peoples’ graves. You’re not allowed to stand on them but you can drive a lawn mower over them?”

And her message to Fermanagh District Council is just as powerful: “I don’t know how to put it nicely. How dare they tell me what I can and cannot do to my son’s grave. We are the ones looking after it. We are the ones paying for it. What’s the big issue? Tell the people that aren’t looking after their graves what they can and cannot do, not us. We normally go with the flow. We don’t normally go against any rules but not this time. Not when it concerns our Marc. He went through enough in his life and doesn’t need this now,” she said.

In response, the Director of Technical Services at Fermanagh District Council, Gerry Knox said: “I have explained, very sympathetically, to young Marc’s father what the rules and regulations are. The Council have these rules in place and the families are aware of them. They know it’s a lawn cemetery.

“What more can I say? I would not want to open up a debate when it comes to this and I think it would be very wrong for the press to do so. This is really working on the emotions of these families and it would be wrong to piggy bank on any emotions.”

Mr. Knox has offered to meet the Elliott family to discuss their concerns.

This article appeared in Impartial Reporter 30 Sep 10

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jivebunny
2 posts
Oct 6, 11:55
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My mother is buried in the Cross Cemetry. I was very saddened by the terms and conditions of the cemetry that families are not allowed to put anything on the graves of loved ones. My mother's grave looks empty and sad. I would like to be able to put some nice things on it. I think that families should be able to put borders round their graves and dress them up with nice things.

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