Mother begs for help after son attempts suicide for third time

Published: 16 Aug 2012 13:000 comments

THE mother of a young Fermanagh man who tried to end his own life for the third time at the weekend fears her son won't stop doing it until he is dead.

A mother has concerns over mental health services.

The 21-year-old who suffers from bipolar disease and has a history of drug abuse was rushed to Enniskillen's South West Acute Hospital in the early hours of Sunday morning and placed on a life-support machine after he consumed a cocktail of alcohol and tablets, including: Propranolol (used for treating anxiety), Depakote (for seizures), Fluoxetine (an anti-depressant), Diazepam (valium) and Olanzapine (for bipolar disease).

Fortunately he pulled through but the effects of what happened at the weekend linger on.

"I am not asking for help, I am begging for help. I don't know what to do, I don't want to have to bury my son," said his distraught mother in a frank interview with The Impartial Reporter.

The mother who feels "powerless and scared" was enjoying a holiday in Co. Antrim and had no knowledge of what was happening until her daughter phoned to break the news.

"She was sobbing her wee heart out, I dropped the phone and ran to the car. All I wanted was to wave a magic wand and be right by his side but I had to make the three hour journey home first. What goes through your mind? It is indescribable; I didn't know if he was going to be alive when I got home. I wanted to know why -- why did he do it? A thousand questions go through your mind," she said.

Walking down the corridors of the hospital, knowing her son was in a serious condition was difficult for this mother but nothing, she says, prepared her for seeing him on the life-support machine.

"It was terrible; he looked like a wee baby lying on the bed. He was covered in tubes and wires and looked so helpless and vulnerable. I just wanted to take him in my arms and make everything alright but I knew I couldn't. Even now I know I can't, I can't make everything alright again".

She took her son in her arms and told him she loved him. "I said to him: What are you trying to do to your oul mummy? He didn't respond to me. He was unconscious. We were told at the hospital that he had taken an awful lot of tablets and was very lucky to be alive."

When he was moved down to the medical ward his mother tried to talk to him.

"I rubbed his face, he tried to open his eyes, and I asked him why he had done it and do you know what he said to me? 'Because I wanted to die mummy, I'm sorry, I love you'. How does any mother feel hearing that? You want to blame somebody. Maybe I shouldn't have been away but when I spoke to him the day before he was in high spirits. I reminded him about his wee nephew, I said, do you not want to see him growing up? Do you want to leave him behind? I wanted to give him a reason not to do it again."

She is at a loss as to why her son feels this way but believes his bipolar is "bringing him down".

And after he was discharged a day later she has questioned the support available to patients and their families in Fermanagh.

"Am I getting enough support? Is my son getting enough support? Absolutely not. Every time you lift the paper some young lad or girl has taken their own life. I can see why: they are not getting the support they need. I spoke to his GP and she said it was an absolutely disgrace that he was discharged a day later and asked him if I was making a formal complaint - I am."

She claimed when her son was discharged his speech was still slurred and he was shaky on his feet.

"He should have been sectioned to give me time to put something in place to care for him when he got home. I asked a member of staff: who trains me to deal with this? I have no experience of working with people who are mentally ill. She told me to speak to my doctor - that was the help I got.

"I am worried that my son is going to do the same again; I am walking about keeping him by my side 24/7. I shouldn't have to do this but if it keeps my son alive I will do it. Do I sit with him when he's asleep? Does he sleep in my bedroom? He has tried it three times so of course he is going to try it again and that scares me," she said.

This mother contacted The Impartial Reporter in the hope that sharing her story would not only raise awareness of the issue but come as some sort of comfort to anyone in Fermanagh that has experienced something similar. If you need someone to talk to then speak out. Lifeline can be contacted on 0808 808 8000 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and calls are free from all landlines and mobile phones. Samaritans can be contacted on 08457 90 90 90. Alternatively, you can log on to www.help4kids.co.uk, www.heads-away-just-say.com, www.heademotionalwellbeing.com or www.mindingyourhead.info.

Jump to first paragraph.

Comments

comments powered by Disqus

Get more stories from our Roundup section

18 Apr 2014 22:00 • Rodney Edwards

Orange audit: 93 per cent believe Catholics ‘suspicious’ of order

A MAJOR survey into the Orange Order in Fermanagh has found that 92.8 per cent of people who took part in the project believe Catholics are “suspicious” of the organisation.

Social: Comments0 comments

18 Apr 2014 19:00

'We have a big eight days ahead of us' - Anderson

By 5pm on Saturday April 26 all the decisions will be made in the Danske Bank Premiership and Championship One. The destination of the title will be decided and who is going down or which teams are facing a play off will be known.

Social:

18 Apr 2014 17:00 • Rodney Edwards

Enterprise Minister disagrees with keeping Aventas Group all locally owned

ENTERPRISE Minister Arlene Foster says she cannot support the view of local political representatives, including her DUP colleague Maurice Morrow, that the Aventas Group in Derrylin must remain exclusively locally owned.

Social: Comments0 comments

18 Apr 2014 15:00 • Editorial Department

Tweets of the Week - did you make it?

Charlie Lawson @charlie_lawson1 I’m reliably informed that my alter ego and constant companion is to return, so he is. Must contact The Home Secretary to confirm.

Social: Comments0 comments

18 Apr 2014 13:00 • Editorial Department

Foster vows to take school merger to the Assembly

“I am not powerless, I will fight this,” declares Stormont Minister Arlene Foster as she reflects on the fall-out over the proposal by the Western Education and Library Board to amalgamate Portora Royal School with Collegiate Grammar School.

Social: Comments0 comments

18 Apr 2014 11:00 • Lily Dane

Those were the days: Miss Derryclavin Selected

This image “Miss Derryclavin” Selected was featured in The Impartial Reporter on April 16, 1964.

Social: Comments0 comments

18 Apr 2014 08:30

Depression is an illness, mourners told at Kenny Andrews funeral

MOURNERS at the funeral of Brookeborough man Kenneth Andrews who died unexpectedly last week were told that the 47-year-old had been fighting a private battle with depression.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 19:00 • Rodney Edwards

#fermanaghspake This Week is...

‘I’m not half well’

Social: Comments0 comments

17 Apr 2014 18:06 • Rodney Edwards

Would-be Unionist politician admits Catholic Facebook question was 'badly worded'

A would-be politician seeking a seat in the new Fermanagh and Omagh Council for the Ulster Unionist Party has defended himself for a second time following comments he made on Facebook.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 17:01

Fermanagh's 'different breed' that sets the Orange Standard

Let me get the amateur sociology out of the way first: ‘Out-group homogeneity’. It describes a bias that any group of people are prone to have.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 16:30

Why are you 'punishing a good school'?

The proposed Development Proposal to close both Enniskillen Collegiate School and Portora Royal School and open a new school on a split site, will go before the members of the Western Education and Library Board on May 8 for approval.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 15:57

Meeting exposed WELB's 'weak process and weak argument' says Collegiate head

THE Collegiate Grammar School’s consultation meeting on its proposed amalgamation with Portora Royal exposed the Western Education Library Board’s (WELB) “weak process and weak argument”, according to principal, Elizabeth Armstrong.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 15:14

Collegiate parents walk out after rudeness of WELB official

PARENTS of Collegiate Grammar School have accused Western Education Library Board (WELB) officials of hiding their personal vested interest in a proposal that would see the school merge with Portora Royal next year.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 14:29 • Meadhbh Monahan

Angry homeowners duped by rogue driveway worker caled Roadstone

HOMEOWNERS in Enniskillen are “disgusted” with workmen who took hundreds of pounds for cleaning their driveways, but never finished the job.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 14:06

Enniskillen by-pass could start in four years says Minister

WORK on the long-awaited Southern by-pass of Enniskillen could start in four years’ time but only if the millions needed for the scheme can be found, Regional Development Minister Danny Kennedy has said.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 13:11

No referendum on fracking at Council elections

Fermanagh District Council is unlikely to hold a fracking referendum after legal advice has recommended against it.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 13:01

Woman who tried to give man love bite guilty of sexual assault

A 47-year-old woman has been convicted of sexually assaulting a young man after she allegedly “forced” herself on him, grabbing him by the bum and telling him she loved him.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 11:45

St. Patrick's Day crash led driver to court

A 42-year-old driver who failed to stop after crashing into a car on a bridge on St. Patrick’s Day was three times the legal alcohol limit.

Social:

17 Apr 2014 10:00 • Editorial Department

Inside today's paper

Clerics attend Queen’s banquet: Praise for their cross-community work

Social: Comments0 comments

17 Apr 2014 09:48

Sharpe names Premier 18 for Milk Cup

Fermanagh Premier Milk Cup manager Derek Sharpe has named his 18 man squad for this summer's competition.

Social: