'Beyond comprehension' father and son share final journey

Just as they were devoted to one another in life it was as The Very Rev. Canon Joseph Mullin told mourners “beyond comprehension” that they should make their final journey together in death.

Both Johnny and Holden were found dead in their home at St. Patrick’s Terrace last Tuesday, a tragedy that caused widespread shock across the close knit community. The loss of the father and son, known well by the people of Lisnaskea, was perhaps even more difficult to take in as their joint funeral mass took place on the eve of Father’s Day, a special occasion for so many families.

“This is not only a difficult day, but a difficult week. It takes time to cope with shock and then to cope with loss that comes with shock,” said Canon Mullin, describing their deaths as “a tragic loss.” “We come together to mark a sad day in the life of our Parish. To come into a church and have the coffin of a father and the coffin of a son resting together is totally beyond words, beyond comprehension and beyond sadness. We gather in strength, bonded together in faith and sympathy and support for Dolores, Rhonda, and all of the McNally family,” he said.

It was another difficult day for the family who just over a year ago buried Johnny’s daughter and Holden’s sister Lorna Boyle who was found dead in a flat in Greece.

“In your hearts, your souls, in your faith you know what to do; turn to the Lord, stand shoulder to shoulder, join together as a community with those who are upset, sad or bereaved,” said Canon Mullin. “On Tuesday morning, all the town was silent and stunned on hearing of their two deaths, two deaths in a quiet little street at St. Patrick’s Terrace in Lisnaskea where these two men lived quietly and peacefully for many years.” “As their neighbours said when interviewed; this family disturbed nobody, kept to themselves and didn’t bother anyone. And little did anyone know that these two quiet lives would be under the bright lights of TV cameras, the centre of medical enquiries and the focus of media attention,” he said, before adding: “That was not the world of this father nor his son.” Canon Mullin told mourners about Johnny and Holden’s battle with alcohol and the impact it had on their lives and those around them. “I guess everyone in the community has had some awareness of the fact that John and Holden had a dependence on alcohol and there is hardly any family that goes untouched by this problem in our sad country. The fallout of that problem can occur in families and those who are victims of such an insidious condition,” he said, explaining that when alcohol gets a grip “even the strongest person can lose the battle.” “Johnny was a witty man, an outgoing man, a man who was articulate, sociable. Holden was into his music and as a schoolboy, he a most modest, well mannered young man. He loved his music and Celine Dion was his favourite and after that Liverpool Football Club got second place.

“But sadly the grip that alcohol takes can squeeze that life and those enthusiasms out. People who were outward looking and sociable then turn inwards, look downwards, pull the curtains and close the doors and that is when it is difficult and hard for a family,” he said.

Canon Mullin said both Rhonda, Johnny’s daughter and Holden’s sister, and the family circle tried to keep in contact with the two men during their difficult days.

“[They] tried to get through the barriers, but it is impossible to break down these barriers with the best will in the world. We as a community support and emphasise and understand and help as best we can. I suppose this father Johnny and son Holden never felt the need for anyone, they were bonded together in their own way, bonded in their own problems and in a strange way were mutually supportive and could so easily close the door,” he said.

“Quiet people can withdraw very gently into their own world,” added Canon Mullin. “It can seem a simple way to deal with life to just close the door and drown the sorrows. But we know that is not the answer. Every life, every single life has potential and hope.” He told mourners that at one time Johnny was full of life and energy and people remembered him when he played for Lisnaskea Emmetts “with the enthusiasm that can fire up everyone”. He was somebody who could cook while Holden listened to music and watched his favourite football team.

“We are so glad that you as a family have these good memories but sadly alcohol dependence can undermine all of a person’s enthusiasm. It can dilute all of the energy and when we are caught in a grip of an addiction be that mild or be that all consuming our lives can be hard to manage. Our keenness is dulled, our interest in everything fades, we end up not as reliable as we would want to be, not as dependable as we would want to be, not as sociable as we would wish. No matter how hard we fight we can get pulled back into that addiction that we had so hoped to escape.

“All of us know only too well that no life is perfect. We all live out a life which even at its best has something bitter-sweet about it. That is the life we humans have. We are not perfect, we cannot be perfect. Some of us here may want to step into that world proposed by the glossy magazines where all is shiny and perfect, and there are no imperfections. We can have foolish notions about the ideal family scene where all our beautiful and successful, all are handsome and the children clever, all have bright smiles, and everything is lovely, but this is postcard life, totally unreal. Real life has ups and downs, moments of darkness balanced by bright lights bringing with it times of joy and times of deep pain,” said Canon Mullin.