I haven't gone away you know!

Real Stories with Mary Lynch • Published 26 Jan 2012 09:30 Comments 1 Comment

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No, I haven't gone away, even though I know there are a few people out there who wished I had!

Now before you sigh and say - I knew she was a member of Sinn Fein and is now quoting Gerry Adams let me tell you again that I am not a member of any political party nor have I any desire to be. Having said that I have no problem with Sinn Fein or any party that is working to help us all move on.

Actually when I finished up writing in December I wondered if I had not said enough, I often wondered if any one even read what I wrote, that is apart from those who complained about me.

Well, that is not entirely true, people do tell me they read this and some actually tell me they like it; but at the end of the day like anything in life if I am not doing it for myself then I shouldn't be doing it.

So, as the Christmas led into the New Year I thought, I have enough to do as Tí Suaimhnis has a lot of visitors and I am very busy so my writing was going to have to be put on the back burner.

Then I started to wake very early in the morning so out came the laptop from under the bed and off I was writing again as it is the quietest thing I can do at this ungodly hour in a cottage where the floorboards hold no secrets.

This reminds me of when I wrote the article called, 'Silence is Golden' which was about a day when I decided not to speak a word (well actually I spoke one in an emergency). When the paper came out that week I was at a mental health conference in Cork. As I was heading into one of the lectures I received a text from one of my many brothers. It said - 'bet you made up for it the next day.' What's he talking about I thought, he must have sent the message to the wrong person, then it clicked and then I burst out laughing. He knows me so well; so here I am again doing something I love.

We have reached another major anniversary this year with a lot more to come; forty years since Bloody Sunday and, if you are as old as me, you will remember it well as it was when a legitimate government turned to terrorism. Well, actually, they just made it more obvious as they were filmed and then wondered why some people decided to fight back especially when two months later they exonerated all involved.

It is human nature to do as others do not as they say, especially when these people are in power whether that be a government, church leaders or parents.

Even at the age of twelve as we all stared in horror at the nine o'clock news I knew what the outcome would be if it was not sorted and fast. Even a child could see what was going to happen next and as things got worse this child planned her escape from the madness of it all.

When I wrote the first draft of my book I said in all honesty that what happened that day in Derry had no effect on me as it was a hundred miles away and the furthest I had been at that time in my life was the metropolis of Enniskillen but, the week before my book went for its final edit David Cameron apologised on behalf of the British Government and as I watched I cried and then wrote another chapter for the book. I called it 12a and named it The Blame Game (the game we all play when we don't want to look at ourselves).

When I called the publisher she said, 'you mean there is now an extra chapter.'

'Yes,' I replied and waited as I listened to the silence on the other end of the phone.

'It had better be good,' she then said, 'as I have nearly finished editing.'

'Most important chapter in the book,' I replied.

'Send it to me,' she continued.

There was never another word about it, she just called it chapter 13 and moved everything to accommodate it.

I still see it as the most important chapter in the book as we can all decide who we are going to blame in any given situation but when a government condones their soldiers for shooting dead innocent people marching for civil rights one wonders who else anyone could blame and God knows the Government tried. Before 1972 ended we had 495 people dead. This will always be remembered as the most violent year of the troubles, the year we slipped into the abyss.

As we try to put our lives back together and some still see the other side as different let me ask you a question. If you consider yourself British, do you really believe that the people on what you consider the mainland see you as anything else but Irish and some people of the Republic see us all as foreigners (outsiders) too?

This became very apparent the night of the presidential debate on RTE when a young woman asked Martin McGuinness why he would want to be the president of Ireland when he was not even Irish!

Even I was gobsmacked as was Martin McGuinness, not only because she asked the question, but because somewhere in RTE a decision was made that this was a legitimate question.

Poor Dana was shocked too as she tried to explain that she never saw herself as anything other than Irish even though she then had to answer the question as to why she holds an American passport.

So as we pull ourselves together and try to work as one in part of a province torn apart after years of violence, praying we will never have to witness the like of it ever again let me tell you a shocking statement someone made to me years ago - an English man (with not a drop of Irish blood in him).

He said, 'was it not obvious to everyone why the British Government allowed all this to continue?'

'Why?' I asked thinking what the hell would he know (you see I never gave any of them much credit for sense after Bloody Sunday).

'The six counties was a training ground for British soldiers,' he said, and then continued, 'where would the British Government get a better one than right on their doorstep!'

It certainly gave me food for thought, and may well explain why the training ended when they were forced to fight the war/troubles on their own soil!

As the different parties continue to fight their individual corners in the North's political arena, maybe they should be working closer together for the good of their people. We have a lot more in common with each other than what divide us.

As you look back in your life and find someone to blame for whatever wounded you I suggest you read chapter 13 of my book and see how much damage blaming did me and how fast I healed when I let go and took care of my own wounds.

You cannot heal fully when you hold any bitterness or anger in your heart and when they are removed you are past needing to blame. Or as someone once said, 'though you may spend your whole life fighting, you will not exhaust your foes, but if you quell your own anger your real enemy will be defeated.'

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SaintPatrick
5 posts
Feb 1, 10:35
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"a legitimate government turned to terrorism...

It is human nature to do as others do..."

You don't say it 'out loud', but the only conclusion from this is that you acknowledge that armed republicans were engaged in terrorism. That is a welcome admission from someone of your background and it would help greatly if present-day republican leaders could be as honest.

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