A real 'Cod'

Editorial Department • Published 25 Feb 2010 09:47 1 Comment

Dear Sir, - Being a regular visitor to your lovely County; I recently decided to do a bit of fishing just last week at Lower Queen Street. On setting up my gear I noticed the strangest goings-on at the rear of the Police Station. I noticed that fish had gathered in great shoals and appeared to be having 'a whale of a time' at the bank nearest Queen Street Station. I couldn't understand why this was happening at this particular 'plaice'. I quickly apprehended half a dozen or so fish and found that most were very unsteady in gait; smelt strongly of alcohol and were obviously drunk; full to the gills.

Enquiries revealed that just that day that some officers of the law; accompanied by friends had deposited a large amount of alcohol down the storm drain in the Police Station which leads directly into Lough Erne. I have since been told by people in Cornagrade that the fish haven't stopped drinking since.

I recall being told by a great uncle who served in that fine Constabulary many years ago, that the correct way to dispose of illicit alcohol was to dispose of it down the sink under the watchful eye of the Head Constable. This beverage was duly collected by the junior Constable at the other end of the pipe for 'exhibit purposes. The Head Constable could then officially enter in the register that the alcohol was disposed of by pouring down the sink.

So the next time you get a speeding ticket, count yourself lucky that you weren't forcefully fed copious amount of alcohol by five strappin' Police Officers; pulled out of your home by a fisherman and beat over the head by a priest ( the wooden one of course not the clerical type).

I have no doubt many of your readers will doubt the authenticity of this story; but I can confirm that it is true.

Yours faithfully

Pinocchio

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This letter appeared in Impartial Reporter 25 Feb 10

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• 

  Pincy
  Unregistered User
  Feb 25, 22:46
  Report comment

  That's it, I've haddock with these fish tales!
  
  Recommend?   Yes 0     No 0

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