I was talking to some people recently who know my elderly uncle; they spoke of him in an admiring way as a man of principle. And one of them smiled as he said: “He’s not afraid to tell you what he thinks.”
I knew he meant it in a complimentary way. And, if I’m honest, I felt he was hinting that this is a family trait and that I have a tendency on occasions of saying it as I see it.
Guilty. Sometimes I just can’t hold it in, and I suppose now I’m old enough (and ugly enough) to give my opinion and hope that it’s taken in the spirit that was intended.
Is that a good thing? Is honesty always the best policy in expressing your thoughts?
Sometimes, it seems to me that people can’t handle bluntness; we can come across a bit abrasive.
After all, the proverb says: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Not an easy one to follow always, especially if you’re writing a column that should challenge people.
People like to keep the head down, and go away and moan to others in private. Better to be inoffensive, sanguine and even anodyne. Don’t make people uncomfortable, eh?
Well, the DUP politician, Sammy Wilson made me feel uncomfortable this week. Apparently, he was caught out when filming for BBC Spotlight’s programme on EU membership and the microphone picked up on a conversation he had with a man who said: “Get the ethnics out, too.”
“You are absolutely right, you know,” said Wilson. And when given the opportunity to clarify things, Sammy chose instead to attack the BBC, whom he accused of “having a laugh” for daring to ask a question, and then went on to lambast the Beeb for its “biased political slant”.
This can be the default position of many people, politicians in particular. And Sammy has no love for the BBC, being one of those calling for massive reform of the public service broadcaster (including removing the licence fee altogether). And in later interviews he prolonged the classic diversionary tactic of accusing the BBC is pursuing a “pro-Europe agenda” and portraying the “out” campaign as racist.
Sadly for him on this occasion, the apparent racist nature of his comment offended more than mere journalists and became something of an issue. The remarks were criticised variously, including descriptions of it as “stomach-churning” and “the mask slipping.” He was even accused of appearing to support a view which “feeds hate crimes.”
As the controversy continued, Mr. Wilson’s own party moved quickly to distance itself from the “the comment made by a member of the public.”
“Get the ethnics out is a disgraceful phrase,” said the party.
And to be fair to Sammy Wilson, he later went on to the BBC to say he was misrepresented and he clarified his views on immigration. As much as I disagree with much of Mr. Wilson’s politics, I don’t at all believe that he supports the notion that we should “get the ethnics out”.
But the controversy has had the effect of raising the debate about our attitudes to ethnic minorities here, especially in the context of the debate about our future inside or outside the EU.
I will be voting that we stay in. But I have absolutely no qualms about people making the argument to leave on the basis of them wanting to bring power back from centrally to their own region; or indeed, on the basis of open borders causing internal difficulties in coping with increased numbers putting pressure on the country’s services.
They are entitled to their views and entitled to argue their point of view.
I’m also entitled to say that SOME of the Brexit campaigners are little Englanders whose view of ethnic minorities is nothing short of racist.
Last week I wrote of the passing of writer Harper Lee in the United States, and the tribute that she “held a mirror up to society.”
The effect of the Sammy Wilson controversy here was to do exactly that. In the aftermath, it made me uncomfortable to hear some people say that the comment made by the member of the public was really only something that many people were saying in private.
Sadly, I believe that to be true. I know that on occasion people have privately said things to me about people from different lands, which deep down I found to be abhorrent. Yet, to my embarrassment, I didn’t speak up and challenge them.
Sammy Wilson was legitimately asked why he didn’t challenge the member of the public who said to him “get the ethnics out”.
But how many of us do that? How many of us just keep our silence and allow such views to go unchallenged?
We all like to think we’re basically decent people, we’re not going to harm people of difference. But we forget that saying nothing can often be taken as being in agreement.
Silence shouldn’t give consent to such views.
We don’t tolerate difference very well here. Never mind people of different ethnic backgrounds, for goodness sake we haven’t even learned to accept the difference of our own cultural background of Protestant and Catholic. Or indeed, of the gay community. Homophobia is still rife.
We don’t tolerate people of different class. It’s easy to say never look down on people unless you’re helping them up, but how many look down their noses at others less fortunate. A bit of love and kindness goes a long way, but sadly it’s all too often missing in today’s selfish, hard world. Maybe my old uncle is right, there are times when we should just speak up and challenge the harsh attitudes of people.