Richard Bell holds a photograph of the man he grew up with on the family farm in Newtownbutler over 40 years ago.
Robin Bell was shot dead during an ambush by three IRA men who hid opposite his farm as he arrived to milk his cows with his father and brother on October 22, 1972. He was 21 years old.
More than four decades later and the pain for Mr. Bell and his family goes on. Now 64, he recalls the Sunday morning when he lost his brother and his life changed forever. 
“We turned into the lane and three guns opened up on us, we were ambushed. They were lying below the bank on the other side of the road. I didn’t see them, all I heard was the gunfire,” Mr. Bell told The Impartial Reporter.
His brother, like him, was a member of the Ulster Defence Regiment and as the IRA opened fire “Robin got the initial burst in the passenger’s side of the car.”
“I was in the back of the car and my father was driving. When I realised what had happened I shouted ‘get down’. I had a pistol and returned fire but it only made a noise,” he said.
And in a matter of moments, the Boy Scout leader who adored attending Galloon Parish as much as dairy farming and carrying out digger work for local farmers was gone. 
“There were 30 odd bullet holes in the car,” recalled Mr. Bell. 
He says the years that have passed have helped him get through what happened but while “you get accustomed to it” the memories are never far way.
“I feel like a silent sufferer now, but you have to get on with it. It never leaves you, it never leaves you. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t miss him. Him and I grew up together, went to school together, went to Scouts together, played Badminton together, shared the same bedroom, farmed together. We were by each other’s sides 24/7 almost, we were as close as two brothers could get. Without him you feel as if half of you is gone.”
With 18 months between the two brothers, it was a difficult time not just for Mr. Bell and his four sisters but parents, Sidney and Olive. 
“My father never got over it, he died with a heart attack. My mother was suffering at home because anytime we were away from home she was on her own not knowing what was going on. 
“There wasn’t even a phone, she had no way of getting into contact with us. She went through a lot,” he said.
Private John Robert (Robin) Bell was buried with full military honours. 
He never got to fulfil any of his dreams or ambitions, says his brother. And his family have never got justice.
“I still don’t know who was responsible. At the time there was anger, annoyance, a whole mixture of feelings. It’s hard to describe how you felt, you were going about feeling numb. You went about your business in a daze, trying to get over the whole thing. You buried yourself in the work to give yourself less time to think about it. 
“A lot of Protestants were targeted in this way and there’s hardly a mention of it. It’s annoying to think that 44 years after this has happened there is no sign of anyone being brought to account for it. There has been no justice for the family and you feel that possibly there never will be. I am not holding my breathe that I’ll ever see justice,” he said.

A new documentary by Dearcán Media will examine how this murder and the murders of Michael Naan and Andrew Murray over two days in 1972 left a Border community feeling frightened and vulnerable. 
As Radharc na Súl / Out of Sight Out Of Mind will be broadcast on TG4 on Tuesday (October 25) at 9.30pm and at Clones Film Festival on October 28.