THE parents of a seven week old baby born with two holes in his heart have spoken of their shock after their “little fighter” died in the back of their car on the way to a hospital appointment.
Oliver Duncan was given only hours to live and while he defied the odds and lived for much longer than he should have his time with parents James and Faith from Kesh was all too short.
“We knew it was coming, but it is still horrendous,” Mr. Duncan told The Impartial Reporter.
“They [the doctors] said what he had when he was born was rare. He was only given hours to live, then days, then they said he wouldn’t live for any longer than 10 days but he lived for seven weeks. He was a little fighter,” he said.
Oliver’s condition, complex congenital cardiac disease, was picked up during his mother’s 20 week scan with his parents initially told that an operation would be considered when he was born.
“But after he was born we were told there were no operations that would cure him and two hospitals wouldn’t take him because it was too complicated. We were annoyed, we got our heads around the fact an operation or several operations would have cured it,” he said.
“It was hard to take in,” said Mrs. Duncan. “You were just thinking that surely there should be something they can do? It was a shock, I couldn’t get my head around it.”
Scattered throughout their home are constant reminders of their baby son whose death earlier this month has plunged his parents into unspeakable grief. There’s a cuddly owl, rabbit, and lion and a sheep with ‘little bundle of joy’ written on it and with his piercing brown eyes and big smile, Oliver, born weighing 7lbs and 4ozs, was exactly that.
“On the outside he was perfect and at first we thought, maybe they have this wrong,” said Mr. Duncan.
“But every day you didn’t know if you were going to wake up one morning and he wasn’t going to be here. You weren’t sleeping at night, you were staying awake all night,” he said.
“You would ask yourself each day: is this the day that he’s going to go?” added Mrs. Duncan.
They were on their way to the Royal Victoria in Belfast for another check up on January 11 when they noticed that Oliver, who was in a baby seat in the back, appeared unsettled.
“Faith got into the back seat with him and he settled,” said Mr. Duncan. “But then she said there was something wrong, he wasn’t moving, he was cold, he went that quickly.”
Oliver James Duncan, who got his middle name from his father and Mrs. Duncan’s grandfather, passed away at five past eight in the morning. An ambulance was called as the couple waited by the roadside but their beloved first born was gone. He was pronounced dead over an hour later.
“They said his health would go down bit by bit, but that didn’t happen. He just shut down all of a sudden, he wasn’t in any pain,” said Mr. Duncan.
The couple say they are thankful for the support they have received from their family, friends and the community and all those who helped at Oliver’s funeral at Kesh Free Presbyterian Church.
His comfort blanket sits on a table in the couple’s living room beside the rattle he hardly got to use. His hand prints and footprints, taken at the Royal Victoria Hospital where he was born under c section after 36 hours, are now among the family’s most treasured possessions.
“He had a nice wee personality; nice wee smile, dark brown eyes. He knew you were talking about him, he’d smile looking up at you,” said Mrs. Duncan.
It’s those memories that the couple, who got married over a year and a half ago, will hold on to.
“You think about all the good times you spent with him, all the memories and the fact we got to spend Christmas and New Year with him. We were lucky to have that time with him, we didn’t expect to have him as long and we enjoyed every minute we had with him,” she said.
The Duncan family are still accepting donations in lieu of flowers if desired to the Children’s Hospice c/o FG McFarland and Sons, Funeral Directors, 49 Letterboy Road, Kesh, BT93 0DF.