Well, it’s that awful time of the year again when we all vow we’re going to change into a completely different person to the one we’ve been our entire lives so far; that we’re going to start getting up at 5am and going to the gym every day, give up sugar and caffeine and never eat another takeaway again. And also learn Japanese and become a master at yoga and save a million pounds. Sounds realistic, right?

I may sound like a judgemental cynic, and to be honest, I’m in no place to judge because if you achieve even one of these things you’ll have achieved one more than I have. But, in fact, if you’ve set yourself up with some resolutions, chances are they may have already fallen by the wayside. According to statistics, the 12th of January is ‘Quitter’s Day’, or the day people tend to give up on their New Year goals.

Now, if your resolutions were something like the ones I outlined above, it would be no surprise if you’re feeling a little defeated before even so much as a fortnight has passed. And this is most likely why so many people choose to completely shun the idea of resolutions, insisting they simply don’t “do” or don’t “believe” in them. Fair enough, many feel that it shouldn’t take the start of a new year to make a change in your life. Some have given up on them because they simply can’t stick to them. While others insist they don’t ‘do’ New Year’s resolutions, but instead simply enjoy reflecting on the past 12 months or indeed that they simply like to pinpoint a few things they want to see or do or achieve in the New Year. Which in my opinion, is like saying you don’t believe in superstitions, but you just like to walk around ladders for the extra exercise.

But whatever your reason may be for disowning the New Year tradition, I believe there is an explanation both for the widespread witch hunt against New Year’s Resolutions, and for the premature date of Quitter’s Day. New Year’s resolutions have become synonymous with diets, discipline and disappointment, all of which we endure in the name of becoming a brand spanking new and improved version of ourselves. It’s been ingrained in our minds that our goals should be to have six pack abs and be filthy rich in order to be ‘good enough’, and when we inevitably can’t keep these impossible goals we’ve set for ourselves, we’re taught to label ourselves as quitters. Our society is constantly feeding us the idea that we need to The Best. The best son or daughter, the best at our careers, the best parent, the best partner, the best friend, and the best looking and best feeling version of ourselves . And we should apparently be ‘living our best life’ while we do all of this! When we fail to meet all of these impossible standards we’ve set for ourselves, it is reinforced in our minds that, intrinsically, we are not good enough the way we are.

It’s no surprise that a whole holiday has become centred on this idea. We may as well rename New Year’s Day to ‘Time to Correct all the ways you weren’t Good Enough over the last 365 Days’ Day. It’s become all about perfection, about never ending self improvement. About fixing all the things that are ‘wrong’ with us.

So how do you avoid feeling like a failure on Quitter’s Day? Well, you don’t need to shun the entire concept of resolutions. And I’m not saying you can’t have big goals. But big goals take small steps. You resolution doesn’t have to be sky high, and achieving it doesn’t need to feel like you’re trekking Mount Everest carrying a bag of rocks. If you forget about what you ‘should’ do or what society expects you to do, and resolve instead to do something you actually want to do – and most importantly, something that’s genuinely doable - you’ll probably have a better chance of making it past Quitter’s Day with a resolution intact.

So instead of vowing you’ll be The Best by December 31st 2019, try to aim to be just maybe, a little bit, ever so slightly better. Promising yourself you’ll hit the gym everyday sounds daunting; just being a little bit more active is a easier. Deciding to go off takeaways for life could set you up for misery and failure; making an effort to eat better is a little more forgiving. We can focus on getting better at things without having to put the weight of the world on ourselves, and take it one step at a time. And if you still don’t manage to make it past Quitter’s Day, well, there’s always next year!