WHO WAS THE CULPRIT?

The misfortunes of a poteen maker appear in another column. There was a spirituous misfortune at a bazaar held in Lisnaskea last week.

A prominent gentleman in the town won in a raffle a bottle of brandy, which costs something now-a-days.

The bottle disappeared, and later was returned to the rightful owner – empty!

Now, who had a spree night in Lisnaskea?

Or was there a supper, as a roast of beef was also one of the prizes? In Enniskillen the roast of beef would have as little chance for its existence as the bottle of brandy!

A MATTER OF GRAMMAR

Wandering into a shop in Enniskillen the other day, I found that a debate had taken place as to whether the word ‘none’ takes the singular or plural verb.

Honours were divided, for on each side was ranged a schoolmaster, and he as a rule is considered an authority.

Master No.1 said that ‘none’ was a collective noun, and took the plural verb. No. 2 held differently.

Well, both are correct – ‘none’ means ‘not one’, and is used of persons or things, and with a singular or plural verb, the latter being the more popular.

But Dryden wrote: ‘None but the brave deserves the fair.’

And Shakespeare said: ‘None offence when all alike do dote.’

A PUBLIC NUISANCE

A few weeks ago I drew attention to the great annoyance to the Enniskillen public occasioned by the factory horns blowing at irregular hours.

One in particular may be five or ten minutes out, and people are inclined to accept this horn as sounding the hour to the quarter hour.

Yesterday morning, one horn was five minutes late, and the next time it blew it was ten minutes late.

Perhaps the explanation is that the man who manipulates the horn cannot read the clock.