I only met Jim Wells once, and I found the Health Minister very pleasant; it was at a charity event and I know the organisers appreciated his support and time as he was such a busy man.

Indeed, I know from other journalists that he always treated them with courtesy and respect, and I also found that he was similarly kind and courteous to me.

But then again, I’m not gay. Nor a member of Sinn Fein. And it seems to have emerged that he treated others with much less respect. To say the least.

Mr Wells got into bother over the last week with comments which denigrated gay parents as being wrongly linked to abusing children, for which he apologised, and then the personal face-to-face criticism of a lesbian couple’s “lifestyle”. So, he’s stepping down as Health Minister.

There is more to the story of Jim Wells than meets the eye, however, in that it is a microcosm of society here. Pleasant and decent to some, but for those whose views you fundamentally agree with, cut them off at the pass. And in large part, it explains why we are having difficulty in moving forward to a shared society.

I found it very significant in an interview with Rodney Edwards for this newspaper that the Deputy First Minister, Martin McGuinness, claimed that Mr. Wells doesn’t speak to him and “does everything in his power not to be civilised or cordial.” This from a partner in Government, a Minister who sits round the same Executive table.

Tolerate each other? Some can’t even speak to their opponents, and apparently Jim Wells isn’t alone in the DUP in that regard.

There may well be, in fact there definitely are, many people who think this is at least understandable and even acceptable behaviour. And there are those who at least sit and say nothing when robust and harsh attitudes towards the gay community make those folk feel vulnerable and isolated.

Sorry, but it’s simply not acceptable in this day and age. Why can we not accept difference and behave graciously towards those with whom we disagree?

Where are we as a society in terms of the social issues of equality for gay people and moving forward politically?

If we listen to the radio phone-ins and social media, it seems that the majority here are homophobic. One caller refused to call “them gay”, they’re “Sodomites” he said and the bitterness towards gay people was palpable. Ian Paisley (junior) has refused to retract remarks in which he claimed gay people harmed society.

And when told that Justin McAleese, son of former president Mary McAleese, delayed coming out as gay after Ian Paisley claimed to be repulsed by homosexuality, the North Antrim MP said McAleese needs to get over it.

Homophobia is rife in Northern Ireland, no doubt, and the harsh fundamentalist opinion of homosexuality is well aired.

But. Are the majority of people so intolerant?

Personally, I don’t think so. This week Martin McGuinness suggested that if we followed the Republic’s example and held a referendum on gay marriage that he’s convinced people would vote in favour. I suspect he’s right; who knows, but it would certainly be a healthy exercise to open up a public debate.

Increasingly, there are references in this context to “The” Christian community, as if everyone of that faith thought and behaved exactly the same. And I bet that many people take up a standpoint because that’s what they were told, or because it was always accepted, without even thinking it through or reading their Bible to come to a conclusion.

Of course, the noise around the fundamentalist viewpoint tends to get most attention; but increasingly, the debate is going on among Christians who have diverse opinions on many matters.

At the very least, though, surely even those of faith who would still come down against gay marriage would accept that the haranguing and demonization of gay people is wrong. And worse, it is causing individuals real fear, even to the point of resulting in mental health problems, even suicide.

Another problem prohibiting having a proper debate on such social issues is that the political process is so dominated by the great constitutional divide. This week, the Assembly voted against gay marriage in Northern Ireland. Just one member of any Unionist party voted in favour, five SDLP members went absent, and Nationalist parties were in favour.

Yet, the DUP, the party of Jim Wells is still the largest party in Northern Ireland; and the UUP is in an electoral pact with them. Ulster Unionist leader, Mike Nesbitt dismisses any other implications of the pact – the Union is the only issue.

So, forget anything to do with gay rights, the economy and the rest; it’s the Union for or against.

How far, then, are we from “normal politics”? I just wonder how many of those who do vote think about all the other issues.

And yes, I do agree that these parties have a strong mandate; that’s what people vote for. So what does that say about you and me?

I started by writing about Jim Wells, and let me finish by coming back to his situation. I’m sure he feels he is going through a storm at the minute. His wife is seriously ill, he’s embroiled in political controversy and I wonder if he looks with doubt at allies shaking his hand and wishing him well. And wondering.

As a Christian, I’m sure he believes in prayer and he will be praying now. On a personal level, one would wish him well. I hope he reflects on what has happened to him on his personal journey.

We all need to take a good look at ourselves; if you don’t like your reflection, don’t blame the mirror, and remember Proverbs: “It is to one’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” I only met Jim Wells once, and I found the Health Minister very pleasant; it was at a charity event and I know the organisers appreciated his support and time as he was such a busy man.

Indeed, I know from other journalists that he always treated them with courtesy and respect, and I also found that he was similarly kind and courteous to me.

But then again, I’m not gay. Nor a member of Sinn Fein. And it seems to have emerged that he treated others with much less respect. To say the least.

Mr Wells got into bother over the last week with comments which denigrated gay parents as being wrongly linked to abusing children, for which he apologised, and then the personal face-to-face criticism of a lesbian couple’s “lifestyle”. So, he’s stepping down as Health Minister.

There is more to the story of Jim Wells than meets the eye, however, in that it is a microcosm of society here. Pleasant and decent to some, but for those whose views you fundamentally agree with, cut them off at the pass. And in large part, it explains why we are having difficulty in moving forward to a shared society.

I found it very significant in an interview with Rodney Edwards for this newspaper that the Deputy First Minister, Martin McGuinness, claimed that Mr. Wells doesn’t speak to him and “does everything in his power not to be civilised or cordial.” This from a partner in Government, a Minister who sits round the same Executive table.

Tolerate each other? Some can’t even speak to their opponents, and apparently Jim Wells isn’t alone in the DUP in that regard.

There may well be, in fact there definitely are, many people who think this is at least understandable and even acceptable behaviour. And there are those who at least sit and say nothing when robust and harsh attitudes towards the gay community make those folk feel vulnerable and isolated.

Sorry, but it’s simply not acceptable in this day and age. Why can we not accept difference and behave graciously towards those with whom we disagree?

Where are we as a society in terms of the social issues of equality for gay people and moving forward politically?

If we listen to the radio phone-ins and social media, it seems that the majority here are homophobic. One caller refused to call “them gay”, they’re “Sodomites” he said and the bitterness towards gay people was palpable. Ian Paisley (junior) has refused to retract remarks in which he claimed gay people harmed society.

And when told that Justin McAleese, son of former president Mary McAleese, delayed coming out as gay after Ian Paisley claimed to be repulsed by homosexuality, the North Antrim MP said McAleese needs to get over it.

Homophobia is rife in Northern Ireland, no doubt, and the harsh fundamentalist opinion of homosexuality is well aired.

But. Are the majority of people so intolerant?

Personally, I don’t think so. This week Martin McGuinness suggested that if we followed the Republic’s example and held a referendum on gay marriage that he’s convinced people would vote in favour. I suspect he’s right; who knows, but it would certainly be a healthy exercise to open up a public debate.

Increasingly, there are references in this context to “The” Christian community, as if everyone of that faith thought and behaved exactly the same. And I bet that many people take up a standpoint because that’s what they were told, or because it was always accepted, without even thinking it through or reading their Bible to come to a conclusion.

Of course, the noise around the fundamentalist viewpoint tends to get most attention; but increasingly, the debate is going on among Christians who have diverse opinions on many matters.

At the very least, though, surely even those of faith who would still come down against gay marriage would accept that the haranguing and demonization of gay people is wrong. And worse, it is causing individuals real fear, even to the point of resulting in mental health problems, even suicide.

Another problem prohibiting having a proper debate on such social issues is that the political process is so dominated by the great constitutional divide. This week, the Assembly voted against gay marriage in Northern Ireland. Just one member of any Unionist party voted in favour, five SDLP members went absent, and Nationalist parties were in favour.

Yet, the DUP, the party of Jim Wells is still the largest party in Northern Ireland; and the UUP is in an electoral pact with them. Ulster Unionist leader, Mike Nesbitt dismisses any other implications of the pact – the Union is the only issue.

So, forget anything to do with gay rights, the economy and the rest; it’s the Union for or against.

How far, then, are we from “normal politics”? I just wonder how many of those who do vote think about all the other issues.

And yes, I do agree that these parties have a strong mandate; that’s what people vote for. So what does that say about you and me?

I started by writing about Jim Wells, and let me finish by coming back to his situation. I’m sure he feels he is going through a storm at the minute. His wife is seriously ill, he’s embroiled in political controversy and I wonder if he looks with doubt at allies shaking his hand and wishing him well. And wondering.

As a Christian, I’m sure he believes in prayer and he will be praying now. On a personal level, one would wish him well. I hope he reflects on what has happened to him on his personal journey.

We all need to take a good look at ourselves; if you don’t like your reflection, don’t blame the mirror, and remember Proverbs: “It is to one’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”