WITH this week being Men's Health Week (from June 14-20), The Impartial Reporter spoke to Nicholas May – a sessional psychotherapist in the Aisling Centre, Enniskillen on the topic of men's mental health, and his thoughts on how we as a community can help to provide support and encouragement to those who are struggling.

It is widely acknowledged that many men often find it difficult to talk about their feelings, and therefore don't often seek the support they require.

When asked what advice he would give to someone who is concerned about the mental wellbeing of a man in their life, but who doesn't know how to offer support, Nicholas said: “I would encourage them to sit with that person and not necessarily ask any questions, just sit with them and feel into the shared space, and see what comes of it.

"Often, just sitting with someone in comparative silence, someone who is holding a lot of fear or shame, they’ll either get up and go, or they’ll start to speak.

"I think that once that bridge is made, then it becomes easy to speak more," he said.

Ideally, Nicholas would encourage anyone who is struggling with their mental health to seek professional help, but he noted that "in order for healing to occur, the decision has to be on the part of the one who is suffering".

"The more you push someone or goad someone to do something about how they are, the more judged they will feel," he explained.

Responding to the question of how we all as a community in Fermanagh can help to tackle the stigma surrounding poor mental health, and talking about it, particularly in regards to men, Nicholas said: "That’s really tricky, because it is embedded in the patriarchy; it’s embedded in our culture.

“I think, for men, this goes into the realm of deep history, ancestry, and what we hold of that experience.

"I think men long to sit down with a group of men in a circle, around a fire, and tell stories and speak authentically from their hearts, and they haven’t been doing that for centuries, and I think that is causing them a great deal of distress," he added, going on to note how he believes a form of mentorship between men could be the way forward, or the formation of more men's groups.

"If I ever work with men, aged from their late 30s through to their 50s, I always encourage them to work with other men and to think about how this experience has been for [them] and what [they] can bring to [their] community of men having had this experience.

"I do a lot of work with men’s groups, and men’s circles, and I think that’s the route to masculine healing – to find community, to find a group of men that you can sit down with and begin to share your experience with, because [better mental] health is a relationship; wellness is in the capacity you have to relate to another.

"I really think it is the way forward," said Nicholas.

The Aisling Centre provides a counselling, psychotherapy and wellbeing service in Fermanagh. If you require support, contact the centre at 028 66 325811, or email: info@theaislingcentre.com.

Aisling Centre patron, Enniskillen actor Adrian Dunbar, said: "As patron of Aisling Centre, I congratulate the team on their continued focus on Men's Mental Health.

"More than ever, after a long period of isolation for many people, we need the support of initiatives that can provide a pathway to healing."