A friend of mine, who has been very critical of how The Impartial Reporter is managed, and particularly of ‘Things in General’, upset me so much this week that I asked him to give his contribution.

His brain, being fresh, should prove much more fertile than my own, upon which there is a heavy daily draw.

Therefore, without worry, I give the following paragraphs from the pen of my friend who really has some brains, if he put them to use in the right direction.

(His demand for payment in advance was adjourned for further consideration).

I wonder is his first paragraph –

ORIGINAL?

Bang, bang!! That is the Irish (1916-1922 lingo) for goodbye.

BANANAS

‘Yes, we have no bananas.’ This is not a slogan coined by prosperous fruit merchants but merely the latest – at least up to 11.50pm yesterday - ‘catchphrase’ of the terrible ‘Yank’.

The authors of such rubbish are merely incapable of having won the war – their prime boast still.

ST. SWITHIN

Holiday makers and many others are hoping that the wet Saint will turn the tap off soon.

He has certainly earned his reputation so far for 1923. The first 39 days are the worst annually!

PRIMARILY FOR HOUSEWIVES

When you go to buy watercress be sure that you get it and radishes.

The latter are described by unscrupulous fruiterers as ‘Watercress with knobs on’.