Ok so here I am. Little old me in this huge old world, what’s the chances? Actually it’s one in 10,000 or something like that…
No, I’m not talking about scratch cards or winning the lottery. No I’m talking about something much bigger. Most likely not better, but bigger, certainly bigger!
What is it I hear you ponder?
I am talking about the F word. Friederichs  Ataxia. Haven’t you heard of it? No, neither had I until just over a year ago. Not many people have heard of the F word because it is rare, unusual and not very common. 
But little, old me in this huge, old world just had to get to know all about the F word. Not through choice might I add, but because I was diagnosed  with the silly F word in January 2015.
For those of you who like to ‘Google’ these things, go ahead, ‘Google it’ as they say. You will be able to read all about this horrendous disease. You will read how it progresses through time, how it’s degenerative, how it affects walking, balance, speech and vision. It really is the worst F word I know anyway!
Yes, it is horrendous and yes, it’s made my life ‘different’ in the past few years. Granted, I can’t walk brilliantly, I can no longer carry a hot drink any distance, I struggle co-ordinating buttons and zips and I battle indescribable exhaustion regularly. But you know what? It could be worse.
Yes, really, it could be.
Ok so I might end up in a wheelchair, I might develop an incurable heart condition or diabetes and I might not be able to have children… Or so they said.
But here I am, exactly one year and nine months after diagnosis. Here I am looking at my beautiful, perfect little baby boy, now almost four months old. How lucky am I? Damn lucky I’d say.
Now my point is that life can be hard, things suck. There’s no other way to put it. The F word and all it stands for sucks! 
But life is what you make it. I don’t know what the future holds for me or my stupid condition but already I’ve beaten that powerful F word by giving birth to my beautiful boy. So, in my mind, I can keep on beating it! I’ll beat it with the biggest, most powerful stick I can find! I’m determined to keep a positive mental attitude and kick the F word to where it belongs, in the back of my mind!
I am however asking something a little different from you if you are reading this. I am asking you to bring the F word (Friedreich Ataxia) to the FRONT of your mind.
I am writing this now because not enough people know about the F word. I and other ‘diagnoses’ need you to know. We need to create awareness for this robbing disease. We need people to understand that we are not drunk and that the F word is making us walk or talk funny. We need you to understand that we are not being lazy, but instead we are beyond exhausted and that our muscles and bones ache. We need you to understand that we are not hogging the stairs and that we are instead taking every step with baited breath in fear of falling.
So remember that F word, Friedreichs Ataxia, little old me in this huge old world knows all about it. Please help me spread awareness. 
More trials and tribulations from little old me to follow….